We were supposed to meet each other on the Bay Bridge at midnight, on 25th September. The clock showed up at 1:30 and I realised he never showed up. But suddenly my eyes felt a yellow light from far away.. Dreaming I realised that I lied to my parents about my car breakdown and they know I am up with my best friend, safely at her home. The car was reaching towards me and it seemed familiar. It was his car but he wasn't alone![sadly] "He'd brought two other boys with him. They were familiar faces, his sycophants [which I always hate].

Surprisingly, without any reason, he slapped me and they both tied me up & taped my mouth. They drove to an abandoned field, thrashed me black & blue with cricket bats, & fled. This was the only memory I had from that..that dreadful, horrific and terrible night.

As mom told me later....My dad, uncles and brothers drove all night looking for me. When I regained consciousness, I found myself in an ICU bed. I'd broken my arm, ribs, & was paralysed from the waist down. I was too traumatised to say anything to my parents. 10 days later, I was discharged, still with no sensation in my legs. Even after months of working with the physiotherapist, I couldn't sit up.

The nights even went.. me sobbing all the nights thinking why that day came in my life when I met him...Mentally, I felt numb. I told mom & dad that I was run over by a car, but my injuries told a different story. So I was brought to a psychiatrist, to whom I confessed everything.

Still, my parents didn't worry about what society said, they were holding my back and maybe that support if I wouldn't have I would have suicide the day I got back to my senses.

My parents immediately reported to the police. He was nabbed in a day, but let off with a warning; the cops were intimidated by his father. But my secret was out & I could finally start healing. I was so heavy-hearted keeping this secret with myself for 15 days. Yes! I am a soft-hearted person and can't even handle scratch cause I was brought up with so much love and affection. It took me a year of therapy to get back on my feet. Physical pain aside, each session was emotionally draining.Every time single thought about that bastard seemed like digging a hole inside my altruistic heart. I can't express the pain I go through going to the session and scratching the grief again and again. I was scared to go out and I stopped going everywhere. It took me years to get back to a normal me still a fearful one.

The cops assured me I'd never see him again, but I'd still have nightmares. I had to repeat the year at school. Regular bullies, taunts and loneliness became a usual part of my life. Everywhere...overtime I go people point me out..talk about me from the back..laugh at me...males got a point to tease me..touch me... Every day I regret what I was and what I am now...I was a free bird who flies in the sky and night without any fear. I was bold enough to answer everyone.

One day I saw him and put my brows down. My body started shivering and I got a high fever. I was again in bed and again those sessions started. I was on an edge of my healing and again a downfall. But wait! I realised he was happy and fearless roaming on the street with his other prey. He wasn't afraid of anything. Me being me... a bloody overthinker couldn't stop.....I cursed him every day and see....

A year later, I saw his photo with a girl on the front page of a newspaper; my heart skipped a beat. He'd raped & murdered his pregnant girlfriend after a year of dating. I didn't sleep that night; I kept thinking how that girl could've been me. It's been 9 years since the incident & I still struggle to make new friends. People gossip that he's a changed man now. But I don't believe in hearsay; to me, he'll always be just a killer on the loose, hunting for his next prey. And I used to blame myself for all this "I got kidnapped because I was dumb enough to trust him & keep quiet.' But now I'm a lot kinder to myself; I'm moving forward- healthier & happier. I want to finish college because my family doesn't think I will; they think I'll always be this victim.

I was finally done with this trauma and shame of what I didn't do. It was revenge time and finally, I decided to.............

The pen needle broke